Motherhood

I was born on October 26, 1954 at the Naval hospital in Alameda County. Life totally changed for Mom. Hazel finally treated Mom as ‘family’, and with me around, Mom was no longer alone.

I don’t really know what happened, but at some point Mom decided to return to Hawaii to raise her baby. More stability? Better environment?  More support from friends and family at home?  I'm sure these were factors. The biggest factor was marital problems. Dad would come home drunk, and fight with Mom all the time.

With Dad away and no support, Mom started working again (sometimes three jobs). She arranged for me to stay with Auntie Bea and her family on the weekdays, and she would pick me up after work.  So I grew up with my four cousins and auntie and uncle.

During these years with Mom struggling, Auntie Bea was Mom’s main support and was there for her whenever she needed help. We lived in a tiny apartment near Punchbowl. It was simple, but I never felt poor or in need of anything.

After years of separation, Mom and Dad officially divorced in 1965.

The following year, we moved to a three bedroom house in Kaneohe. We had a yard, dogs and everything, it was great. And since I was 12 now, Mom said I didn’t have to stay with my cousins anymore…we had a real home.

Mom constantly stressed that I needed to learn how to take care of myself…’If anything happens to me, you’re on your own.’ So, even at 12, I was able to take care of myself.

Things changed when I became a teenager. Mom was working a lot and coming home late, and I started doing more things with my friends from school. Mom still found time for a social life though. She was now in her 40s, and would go out with her friends or current boyfriend.

Then, she marries an airline pilot! I have know idea how it happened. I don’t remember any wedding, they just came home married one day.  I don’t know, maybe I just wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t a good marriage though, and Mom knew it. They had nothing in common, and I was the unwanted stepson. Eventually, Mom got a divorce.

While Mom was making bad decisions with her life, I was doing stupid stuff in high school.

Everything changed when I was 16.  That was the year Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my house. I never heard of these people before, but they showed me what the Bible said about the future. They showed me from my own Bible that God’s personal name is Jehovah. How come I never knew this before?

Religiously, we were Catholics. Mom was Catholic because her mom was Catholic. I was a Catholic because Mom was Catholic. Being Catholic was a family tradition, not a personal choice.

I believed the Bible was from God, but never could understand it. So when Jehovah’s Witnesses asked me if I wanted to understand what the Bible teaches, how could I refuse?

Mom had a different opinion though. She was mad. She felt Jehovah’s Witnesses as a cult and, that I was being brainwashed. So, she said I couldn’t study with them anymore, but I really didn’t want to give up the things I was learning from the Bible. Jehovah was becoming more of a positive influence in my life.

By the time I graduated, I was already baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and my goals in life changed.  College and getting a good job were no longer my goals.

And Mom? She flipped out!  What a disappointment!  How could I throw my life away? She just couldn’t understand. There was no way we were ever going to agree on this, so at 17, I moved out to pursue what made me happy, helping others learn about Jehovah.

At 44, with no husband to care for, and no son to tie her down, Mom sold the house and moved to Waikiki. Mom was now free to do anything she wanted.

‍