Motherhood

I was born on October 26, 1954 at the Naval hospital in Alameda County and life totally changed for Mom. Hazel finally treated Mom as ‘family’, and with me around, Mom was never alone anymore.

I don’t really know what happened but at some point Mom decides to return to Hawaii to raise her baby. More stability? Better environment?  More support from friends and family at home?  I'm sure these were factors. The biggest factor was marital problems. Dad would come home drunk and fight with Mom all the time.

With Dad away and no support, Mom started working again (sometimes 3 jobs). She arranged for me to stay with Auntie Bea and her family on the weekdays and she would pick me up after work.  So I grew up with my 4 cousins and auntie and uncle.

During these years with Mom struggling, Auntie Bea was Mom’s main support and was there for her whenever she needed help. We lived in a tiny apartment near Punchbowl. It was simple but I never felt poor or in need of anything.

After years of separation, Mom and Dad officially divorced in 1965.

The following year, we moved to a 3 bedroom house in Kaneohe. We had a yard, dogs and everything, it was great. And since I was 12 now, Mom said I didn’t have to stay with my cousins anymore, we had a real home.

Mom constantly stressed learning to care for myself…’If anything happens to me you’re going to be on your own, so you need to learn how to take care of yourself’, so even at 12, I could take care of myself.

Things changed when I became a teenager. Mom was working a lot and coming home late and started doing more things with my friends from school. Mom still found time for a social life though. She was now in her 40s and she had her friends and boyfriends.

Then she marries an airline pilot! I have know idea how it happened. I don’t remember any wedding or anything. They just came home one day married.  Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t a good marriage though and Mom knew it. They had nothing in common and I was the unwanted stepson…eventually Mom got a divorce.

While Mom was making bad decisions in her life, I was doing stupid stuff in high school.

Everything changed when I was 16.  That was the year Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my house. I never heard of these people before. But they showed me what the Bible said about the future. They showed me from my own Bible that God’s personal name is Jehovah. How come I never knew this before?

Religiously, we were Catholics. Mom was Catholic because her mom was Catholic. I was a Catholic because Mom was Catholic. Being Catholic was a family tradition, not a personal choice.

I believed the Bible was from God but never could understand it. So when Jehovah’s Witnesses asked me if I wanted to understand what the Bible teaches, why wouldn’t I want to learn?

Mom had a different opinion though, she was mad. She viewed Jehovah’s Witnesses as a cult that was brainwashing me. She said I couldn’t study with them anymore.  Couldn’t do that. The things I was learning were fascinating and Jehovah was becoming more of an influence in my life.

By the time I graduated I was already baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and my goals in life changed.  College and getting a good job was no longer in my plans.

And Mom? She flipped out!  What a disappointment!  How could I throw my life away? She just couldn’t understand. There was no way we were ever going to agree on this, so at 17, I moved out to pursue what made me happy, helping others learn about Jehovah.

At 44, with no husband to care for, and no son to tie her down, Mom sold the house and moved to Waikiki. Mom was now free to do anything she wanted.